Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
