Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You dont lie about slip and slides
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
