just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
