Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
oh god was she eating orange peels again
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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