I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
