It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
