His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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