my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
