If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
