no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she smelled like a LAN party
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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