whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Randomize
