glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
