There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
