How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
