Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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