mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
