just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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