Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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