When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
