What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
