I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
