Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
