if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
