I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I party with great urgency now.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
