if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
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