there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
