I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
