There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
