I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
