So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Randomize
