I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
