Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize