You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
