ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
