I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
