STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize