i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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