I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
