I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
