she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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