I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
