I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
