Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
