i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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