I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
