I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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