Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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