No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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