All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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