I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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