I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
