She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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