so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
FUCK WHALES
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
