Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
