I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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