I must be too annoying 4 u.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
