Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
