hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
